The Ethics of Pronouns

Consider this quote about genital cutting:

… I want her to have the freedom to come to her own conclusions about life’s major issues like religion, politics, and her own body. The reality, however, is until she can speak for herself, Nicole and I are calling the shots. Mistakes will be made. This is a parent’s burden. I can only hope she will learn to forgive us.

That’s offensive, right? Non-therapeutic genital cutting on a non-consenting female is wrong. Neither parental intent nor perceived benefits changes that fundamental concept. Mistakes can’t be justified when they’re obvious and avoidable. That’s why laws exist in the United States against any form of non-therapeutic genital cutting, whether severe or minor.

I modified the original quote. Below, here is the the actual quote:

… I want him to have the freedom to come to his own conclusions about life’s major issues like religion, politics, and his own body. The reality, however, is until he can speak for himself, Nicole and I are calling the shots. Mistakes will be made. This is a parent’s burden. I can only hope he will learn to forgive us.

This mistake will get you jail time if it involves your daughter, regardless of whether she ends up angry about it. But make this mistake on your son and you get a culturally sympathetic nod to a “parent’s burden”, perhaps especially if your son ends up angry about it? That’s unacceptable nonsense. The ethical flaw doesn’t change to make the scenario any less offensive when it involves non-therapeutic genital cutting on a non-consenting male. Both are wrong for the same reason, and should be against the law.

The above quote is from Cole Gamble’s essay on his son’s circumcision, originally printed at The Daily Beast two years ago and reprinted here today.